I’m Back Bitches

Finally, after two months, IOwnLotsOfTylerGreenRookieCards is graced with a blog entry from its curiously absent writer. The past eight weeks have been a trying time for yours truly - battling an addiction to freebase cocaine, entering rehab, escaping from rehab and running away to Vegas, winning 500K at The Bellagio, losing 750K at The Grand, shooting that man in Reno, living in Utah under an alias - but all that is over now. I’m back bitches, and better than ever.

As if I needed to tell you, tonight is D-Day. And by that I mean Donovan-over-Dallas-Day. The Birds and Boys draw blood tonight and winner gets bragging rights until World War II in Philly on December 28. A few quick thoughts on tonight’s game:

1.) DeSean “Fraction” Jackson can cement his status as a Tier 1 Philly sports icon with a huge game against Dallas’ much-talked about D. Unbelievably, Jackson matched all the pre-season hype with a 106-yard receiving day against the Rams, including a phenomenal 47-yard catch over a defender’s shoulder for his first NFL reception. The fastest wideout at the combine added a 60-yard punt return for good measure. If Jackson burns Pacman Jones for a deep post or two, you could be witnessing the fastest rise of a Philly sports star since Iverson left Michael Jordan reaching for air on a cross-over jump shot during AI’s rookie year.

2.) If you actually want Kevin Kolb to start for the Eagles, go kill yourself. Seriously, just fucking die already. McNabb is a legitimately great player and now that Tom Brady can play NFL quarterback as well as I can, Peyton Manning is the only QB I’d take over number five. Did you see that frozen rope he threw to Hank Baskett in Week 1?? There are only two other men on earth who can make that toss. One is sitting at home with spaghetti for a knee and the other is in jail for dog fighting.

3.) Dallas can have their All-America (read: white) QB with his pop star princess. Dallas can have their pampered receiver who finally has found a quarterback that “gets him.” Dallas can have their five Super Bowls, their beauty queens, their lax gun laws, their idiot, inbred, hate-mongering ideologies; I don’t give a flying fuck. The Eagles are going to have this game. Dallas can have the rest.

Put up or shut up time - Prediction: Eagles 27 Cowboys 20

Going to Shorty’s (42^nd and 9^th) for the game. I’ll have an in-depth recap tomorrow.