2008 College Football Consensus All-America Team

Today, the Sporting News announced their 2008 College Football All-America team. They are the fifth and last organization recognized by the NCAA to announce their all-america squad. Other organizations recognized by the NCAA include the Associated Press, Football Writers Association of America, Walter Camp Foundation and American Football Coaches Association.

For some reason, no one ever compiles these five separate all-america teams to publicly announce the consensus all-america team. And what kind of whack-job would sit down and do this in their spare time???

I would. Without further adieu, here is the 2008 College Football Consensus All-America Team (Unanimous Selection**) -

Quarterback:

Sam Bradford, Sophomore, Oklahoma & Colt McCoy, Junior, Texas

Running Back:

Javon Ringer, Senior, Michigan St.

Shonn Greene, Junior, Iowa**

Wide Receiver:

Michael Crabtree, Sophomore, Texas Tech**

Dez Bryant, Sophomore, Oklahoma St.

Tight End:

Chase Coffman, Senior, Missouri

Offensive Line:

Andre Smith, Junior, Alabama**

Michael Oher, Senior, Mississippi** (Pictured Above)

Duke Robinson, Senior, Oklahoma

Brandon Carter, Junior, Texas Tech & A.Q. Shipley, Senior, Penn St.

Antoine Caldwell, Senior, Alabama

Defensive Line:

Brian Orakpo, Senior, Texas**

Jerry Hughes, Junior, TCU

Aaron Maybin, Sophomore, Penn St.

Terrence Cody, Junior, Alabama

Linebacker:

Rey Maulauga, Senior, USC**

Brandon Spikes, Junior, Florida**

James Laurinaitis, Senior, Ohio St.

Defensive Back:

Malcolm Jenkins, Senior, Ohio St.

Alphonso Smith, Senior, Wake Forest

Eric Berry, Sophomore, Tennessee**

Taylor Mays, Junior, USC

Placekicker:

Louie Sakoda, Senior, Utah**

Punter:

Kevin Huber, Senior, Cincinnati

All-Purpose/Kick Returner:

Jeremy Maclin, Sophomore, Missouri & Brandon James, Junior, Florida

A few final notes: Sam Bradford and Colt McCoy tied each other for the quarterback position with two selections apiece. Ditto for Brandon Carter and A.Q. Shipley on the offensive line and Jeremy Maclin and Brandon James at the all-purpose/kick returner position.

Ruben Amaro's Incompetence is Destroying the Phillies

I know, I know, the Phillies just won the World Series so I’m supposed to have some sort of “grace period” where I don’t care what happens to the organization for a while because they just delivered a World Championship that will be remembered for all-time. But with the recent signing of Raul Ibanez for three years and $30M, and the subsequent divorce from Pat Burrell as a result of the signing, I just can’t hold the anger inside.

New Phillies General Manager Ruben Amaro is a fucking idiot.

I have no idea how you could possible fuck up more than signing a 36-year-old left-handed leftfielder who is just as slow as Pat Burrell, just as awful in the field as Pat Burrell, four years older than Pat Burrell and not even close to the hitter that “Pat the Bat” is. That’s not even the half of it. Amaro managed to lose a first round draft pick in 2009 by signing Ibanez (a “Type A” free agent) while opting NOT to take two compensation first round draft picks when Burrell (also a Type A free agent) signs with another team because he refused to offer Burrell arbitration. Total incompetence.

Let’s break this down boys and girls.

By not giving Burrell an arbitration offer (that’s a one-year contract negotiated by an arbitrator that over 90% of players decline anyway), Amaro gave up a first round draft pick and a sandwich round draft pick. You see, if a Type A free agent signs with a new team, and he was offered arbitration by his former team, that ballclub gets the latter team’s first round draft pick and an additional sandwich pick between the first and second rounds. Why did Amaro refuse to give Burrell arbitration? He did it to “protect” the Phillies from Pat Burrell taking them to an arbitrator and getting a one-year $15M contract.

Here’s the problem. There is no way Pat Burrell was going to accept arbitration. The Giants or Rays desperately need a power-hitting leftfielder with a .400 on-base percentage and they will offer him much more than a one-year deal. Even if Burrell did accept arbitration, so what? You get one more year of a right-handed, power-hitting, one-base machine to perfectly break up Chase Utley and Ryan Howard, the Phil’s left-handed dynamic duo.

Instead, the Phillies told Pat to fuck off, didn’t offer him arbitration, never offered him a contract and signed Raul Ibanez, an inferior player who is GOING TO BE 37 YEARS OLD NEXT SEASON!!!! Oh, and Ibanez will cost the Phillies their first round draft pick next year, which now belongs to Seattle, because, you know, their GM isn’t fucking retarded as he offered Ibanez arbitration.

What I can’t figure out for the life of me is that if Amaro knew he was going to replace Burrell (and not even calling his agent is a pretty good indicator), there is a 100% chance Burrell refuses arbitration. Why would Burrell accept a one-year contract when he knows that he would be on the bench behind Ibanez? He wouldn’t. That would effectively kill his value at the end of the year. This is what is truly unforgivable in my eyes and it would have never gone down if Mike Arbuckle was named Phillies GM instead of Amaro. By the way, in case you forgot, Chase Utley, Brett Myers and Cole Hamels are all former Phillies first round draft picks. You don’t just give those picks away. It destroys your farm system.

The ultimate kick in the ass is that Ibanez is not as good as Burrell. Sure, he had a career-year last season, but at age 36, there is no way he will consistently replicate those numbers over the next three years. Let’s compare Burrell and Ibanez over the past four seasons (WARP = wins above replacement player, RAA = defensive runs above average, OPS+ = one-base percentage + slugging percentage in comparison to the league average) –

Pat Burrell
Year	WARP	RAA	OPS+	HR	BB
2005	6.8	1	128	32	99
2006	4.5	-6	122	29	98
2007	4.0	-18	127	30	114
2008	5.2	-11	125	33	102
TOTALS	20.5	-34	126	124	413
Raul Ibanez
Year	WARP	RAA	OPS+	HR	BB
2005	4.7	-1	115	20	71
2006	6.4	-5	125	33	65
2007	4.0	-17	121	21	53
2008	7.4	1	124	23	64
TOTALS	22.5	-22	121	97	253

Burrell and Ibanez have almost identical WARP numbers, with Ibanez worth a whopping two more wins than Burrell over the past four years. This is entirely due to Burrell’s -34 RAA (a measuring stick for defensive ability), but you can pretty much ignore this figure. Burrell’s RAA suffers because Charlie Manuel removes him from games for defensive purposes, which lowers his putout numbers, which in turn lowers his defensive range and RAA. Ibanez plays the entire game, giving him better range numbers despite being just as awful in leftfield as Burrell (as evidenced by his -17 RAA in 2007). At the plate, Burrell’s 126 OPS+ is five percentage points better than Ibanez and his home run (124) and walk (413) totals trump Ibanez by a large margin. Simply put, Raul Ibanez is no Pat Burrell. Sure, he puts the ball in play more often, but he also gets on base much less often, and in that lineup, in that ballpark, you need to get on base as much as possible to play for the three-run homer.

Finally, and no one seems to be talking about this, Ibanez is a left-handed hitter. That gives the Phillies the following opening-day lineup:

SS, Rollins (S)
RF, Werth (R)
2B, Utley (L)
1B, Howard (L)
LF, Ibanez (L)
CF, Victorino (S)
3B, Feliz (R)
C, Ruiz (R)

You just can’t have your 3-4-5 hitters all be left-handed. The middle of your lineup can now be effectively shut down by a left-handed reliever, ending any hopes of a come-from-behind win. Now, Manuel is forced to put together stupid lineups, with Victorino and/or Werth hitting 4th or 5th. Not good.

So let’s get this straight. For the same amount of money it would have taken to sign Pat Burrell, the Phillies signed a 37-year old, slow, poor-fielding leftfielder who is less of a hitter than Burrell, doesn’t fit in their now left-handed-heavy middle of the order and cost them two first round draft picks. Great job, Ruben Amaro. I can’t wait to see what other brilliant moves you have in store.

The 2008 Turkey Bowl: Fights, Football and Tomfoolery

Yours truly spent the Thanksgiving Weekend in Allentown, PA, home of the annual Green Acres Turkey Bowl. Every year, my friends and family participate in two 7-on-7 full-contact football games, despite the fact that we keep getting older and more out of shape. Here is the story following this year's much-anticipated games:

Bent over and sucking wind after suffering a humiliating 7-2 loss in the first game of the annual Turkey Bowl Football Classic at Green Acres Park, David, the game’s premier quarterback and leader of his “Acres Flying Aces” squad, pondered his options as he possessed the first-overall pick in the re-draft prior to playing the Turkey Bowl’s second game.

The Flying Aces’ key bugaboo in Game One’s stunning loss to a vastly inferior “Green Machine” team led by Adrian and his merry band of crybabies, was their receivers inability to get open. Speed kills, and despite having a superior offensive line manned by Evan (an undersized but athletic high school center), Chuck (a 250-pound force at tackle) and Jon (a college fullback who is “listed” at 225), David had no one who could burst through coverage and get open.

At flanker, Jamie has the speed to excel, but his hands are truly awful and he is best utilized as a tenacious defender at corner or safety. David’s short-yardage receiver was Saleem, but he forgot his contacts for the second consecutive year and was a non-factor in Game One. All of this led a crucial draft selection that would determine whether David and his Flying Aces squad would suffer 12 months worth of ridicule.

David’s best option was Brandon, a gifted receiver with speed and strength who scored four touchdowns (three receiving) in Game One’s win for the Green Machine. But one look at Brandon leisurely lying down on the ground with his girlfriend after the first game and it was easy to question if he had the heart to give it his all in Game Two.

Quizzically staring at the two love birds, David muttered “Hey, should I take you with the first pick?”

“If you want to win you will,” Brandon replied.

That settled it, Brandon was Game Two’s first overall pick and the most explosive scoring duo in Acres Football history would once again wreak havoc. Brandon was un-coverable and David’s bazooka arm could now truly be put on display.

On the first drive, David drilled a 10-yard pass that perfectly led Brandon on a slant pattern and he easily outran the defense for a quick score. After a touchdown run by Adrian tied the game at 1-1, the Flying Aces’ scoring duo struck again. On a deep post pattern off the left hash marks, David launched a perfect spiral over the head of Paul who was defending the play and into Brandon’s outstretched hands for a touchdown.

“All day baby, all day!” Brandon screamed as the receiver met his quarterback halfway to deliver a well-earned chest bump.

A sturdy defensive line manned by Chuck, Jeff and David led to a turnover on downs for the Green Machine and Brandon would continue his offensive onslaught. After two first down throws to Saleem, who played inspired defense in Game Two, David hooked up with Brandon on an out pattern. Paul proceeded to strip the ball from Brandon, but Mike was “Johnny on the spot,” picking up the loose ball and running untouched for a score that stretched the Acres Flying Aces lead to 3-1.

On the ensuing drive, Adrian faced a fourth-and-goal situation from the five yard line. As David’s rush flushed him from the pocket, Adrian took off and ran to his left for a controversial touchdown.

“No way you scored Agey!” David exclaimed. “Your feet were out of bounds and the ball did not cross the goal line.”

“Look, I don’t argue calls, but I’m passionate about this one,” Adrian replied in his defense. “The ball crossed the goal line.”

“Passionate” Adrian prevailed and the score narrowed the Flying Aces lead to 3-2.

It was on the ensuing kickoff that shit (FINALLY!!!) hit the fan. Paul apparently pushed Saleem to the ground and Saleem proceeded to grab his throat. Next thing you know, Paul is wildly throwing (and missing) punches and kicks before teammates on both sides separate them. The two are frothing at the mouth and screaming various obscenities and insults that only friends would know and say to each other (summary of what was said – Paul: “you’re not getting laid,” Saleem: “I make more money than you do”).

A touchdown throw from David to Brandon on a slant pattern ended the game at 4-2, but Paul’s “little brother” syndrome refused to let him end the bickering with Saleem. After more verbal assaults and some pushing and shoving, Paul’s older brother David put him in a headlock (reminiscent of yesteryear) and pinned him to the ground. Various players pulled Cain and Abel apart, but the trash talk would not end with Paul exclaiming to David that he would “Put him in a hospital.”

After the dust settled, Chuck shook his head, looked at David and said, “God, I wish I was in your family.”

Brandon was named the 2008 Turkey Bowl MVP, as he was the key difference maker in both team’s victories. He totaled seven touchdowns on the day, including six receiving. Other notes from the game include:

• Steve brought a keg to the game which was thoroughly enjoyed prior to each contest. A fucking keg. To a public park. God bless you Steve.

• Both Adrian and David did not throw an interception in either game, a first in Acres history.

• Adrian’s marathon running has been paying off. He ran and threw for four touchdowns on the day and would have been named this year’s MVP if not for Brandon’s remarkable play.

• Following David’s long touchdown run in Game One when he broke three tackles en route to the score, he screamed “I’ve been doing this since 1993 motherfuckers!”

• Jeff, Game One’s first-overall draft pick, was a tackling machine until he pulled his 38-year old left hamstring mid-way into the first contest. He played sparingly for the rest of the afternoon.

• David and Paul’s 15-year old brother Andrew made his girlfriend show up to the game with pom poms. So very many things are wrong about that.

Game 1 Scoring Summary: Green Machine 7, Acres Flying Aces 2
1-0 Green Machine score on a pass from Adrian to Brandon
2-0 Green Machine score on a run by Adrian following a pitch from Brandon
2-1 Acres Flying Aces score on a long quarterback scramble off right tackle by David
3-1 Green Machine score on a pass from Adrian to Brandon
4-1 Green Machine score on a long quarterback scramble by Adrian
4-2 Acres Flying Aces score on a pass from David to Jon in the left corner of the end zone
5-2 Green Machine score on a run by Brandon off right tackle
6-2 Green Machine score on a pass from Adrian to Brandon
7-2 Green Machine score on a pass from Adrian to Paul

Game 2 Scoring Summary: Acres Flying Aces 4, Green Machine 2
1-0 Acres Flying Aces score on a slant pattern pass from David to Brandon
1-1 Green Machine score on a quarterback scramble by Adrian
2-1 Acres Flying Aces score on a deep post pattern pass from David to Brandon
3-1 Acres Flying Aces score on a fumble recovery return by Mike
3-2 Green Machine score on a quarterback scramble by Adrian off left tackle
4-2 Acres Flying Aces score on a slant pattern pass from David to Brandon

World Fucking Champions

I really don't have anything else to add. Chutley has already said all that needs to be said - We're the World Fucking Champions.

For the first time in my adult life (the Sixers won the NBA title when I was 2), a Philadelphia sports team has won the whole damn thing. And best of all, it was my beloved Phillies. I used to live and die with every Darren Daulton at bat. Every paper in my sixth grade English class was about the 1993 Phillies until my teacher actually wrote a note to my mom telling her I had to cover another topic despite receiving "A's" on all my reports. Rooting for those God-awful Juan Samuel/Von Hayes/Roger McDowell/Kevin Gross/Charlie Hayes teams has finally paid off and supporting the Phillies through two decades of futility has made this championship all the sweeter.

Utley hurt for the first two months of 2009? I don't care. The Eagles tying (a fucking tie!) the lowly Bengals? I don't care. Passing on talent evaluator extraordinaire Mike Arbuckle for company yes-man Ruben Amaro as Phillies GM? I don't care. The Phils not even offering Pat Burrell a contract this offseason? I don't care (OK, I kinda do). I seriously could care less about what atrocities happen in the Philadelphia sports scene for the next few years or so. My Phillies are the 2008 World Series Champions. The World Fucking Champions.

I Want My Baseball With The Fake Signatures

Growing up, I can clearly recall those Sports Illustrated commercials after every major sports championship. Sign up for a year's worth of issues and you would get that cheesy fucking leather bound edition featuring your favorite team and the baseball/football/basketball commemorating their great accomplishment. God, how I wanted to have my own Sports Illustrated issue of the Phillies/Eagles/Sixers/Flyers (yes, I actually cared about basketball and hockey back then). I looked forward to one day having my commemorative Philly sports issue more than the annual masturbatory swimsuit edition. 

Well, tonight is Step 1 towards finally picking up the phone and ordering my very own yearly subscription of SI. In fact, if the Phillies win it all, why stop there? I will buy every fucking crappy T-shirt, pennant, boxed DVD set, mug, program and God knows what else with the phrase "Philadelphia Phillies 2008 World Series Champions" printed on it. My apartment will resemble that of a Nascar fan's pad, i.e. totally classless, and I could absolutely care less. The Phillies just need to win four more. I need to go on a senseless spending spree. I need that fucking baseball with the fake signatures.

The Modern-Day Babe Ruth

I had this exchange with my co-worker this morning after the Phillies stunning come-from-behind win over LA in Game 4 of the NLCS, highlighted by a Matt Stairs (are-you-fucking-kidding-me) two-run blast off closer Jonathan Broxton to put the Phils ahead for good:

Me: "Unreal game. The best part is that in two years Matt Stairs will become a slow-pitch softball legend. He just officially became a member of the Phillies last night."

Co-worker: "I know. He's the modern-day Babe Ruth. If Babe Ruth played today against minorities and superior pitching, he would be Matt Stairs."

The guy has a point. And before you get all defensive about shoving Ruth in the mud, let's get something straight - Matt Stairs is a helleva hitter. His career .266 / 254 / 864 numbers are no joke. Yeah, they pale next to Ruth's numbers but some of the other comparison's are there. Both are heavy-set guys, Stairs listed at 5-9, 210 and Ruth at 6-2, 215 (although his weight was reported to be as high as 260). Both played a number of years before they became full-time regulars (Stairs because he didn't fit the prototypical standard for what a ballplayer should look like, Ruth because he was a pitcher). And finally, both actually TRIED to hit homeruns on a regular basis. Check out this gem of a quote from Matty Stairs after last night's game -

"My whole career, even back in the early days, my approach was try to hit the ball out of the ballpark," said Stairs. "And it's something I enjoyed doing. In batting practice, I try to hit every ball out of the ballpark. I'm not going to lie, it's fun. I try to hit home runs and that's it. I'm not going to hit a single and steal second base. So I think the biggest thing is to get up there, swing hard and elevate."

That's phenomenal. And do you know what? If the Phillies go on to win the World Series, Matt Stairs can look at his ring and know that that he deserved it. It doesn't matter that he only played in 16 regular season games with the Phils. The future slow-pitch softball homerun champion won a pivotal NLCS game that could propel them to greatness.

Philly Wasn’t Built in a Day

While killing time at work by visiting as many sports sites as possible in between meetings yesterday, I stumbled upon an ESPN chat with Baseball America’s prospect guru Jim Callis and couldn’t help but ask a simple question about how this year’s Phillies squad was constructed:

David (Philly): How much credit does Mike Arbuckle get for the Phillies success? Rollins, Howard, Burrell, Utley, Myers, Hamels and even (sadly) Gavin Floyd have all been great picks.

Jim Callis: (2:30 PM ET ) Not as much as he deserves.

Well, now that the Phightins are in the NLCS, it’s time to give Mr. Arbuckle some major props. Arbuckle was named the Phillies Director of Scouting in 1992, so let’s take a look at his first 10 drafts with the Phils (1993-2002) and how they have impacted the 2008 NL East Champs. Players selected in the past six years (2003-2008) have not had the time to be evaluated properly as baseball players often take four or five years just to reach the big leagues, so we will exclude those drafts.

Baseball scouts often say that a successful draft will produce 1 ½ players, or one starter and a role player. Using this metric as a barometer for success, I have separated impact and complimentary players from each of Arbuckle’s first 10 drafts. Guys who only had a cup of coffee in the majors were excluded from my analysis. Each draft was given a grade based on the quality and quantity of major league players selected (round/overall pick are in parenthesis):

1993 MLB Draft Grade: A-
Impact Players
Scott Rolen (2/46)
Complimentary Players
Wayne Gomes (1/4)

Commentary: Not a bad first draft for Arbuckle. A Georgetown basketball recruit, Rolen was a first-round talent whose stock had dropped because of signability issues. Arbuckle rolled the dice that Rolen would forgo a college scholarship to play professional baseball and he went on to become the best third baseman of his generation before back and shoulder injuries derailed a sure-fire Hall of Fame career. Gomes could never harness his power curve to become the dominant closer he was projected to be, but he was effective for a year or two.

1994 MLB Draft Grade: F
Impact Players
NONE
Complimentary Players
Wendell McGee (12/338)

Commentary: Let’s call 1994 a sophomore slump for Arbuckle. First round draft pick Carlton Loewer was a total bust and McGee was the only player selected to receive any real playing time in the bigs. I remember Wendell from when he played for the AA Reading Phillies. He signed some cards for me and was a real nice dude. He could really play centerfield, but no stick and no batting eye is not a recipe for success.

1995 MLB Draft Grade: D
Impact Players
NONE
Complimentary Players
Marlon Anderson (2/42)

Commentary: Anderson was a great role player for the Phils, playing second base and all three outfield positions while coming through with some clutch hits. Still, Anderson alone does not make for a productive draft. First round pick Reggie Taylor looked like Tarzan, played like Jane.

1996 MLB Draft Grade: A
Impact Players
Jimmy Rollins (2/46)
Complimentary Players
Adam Eaton (1/11)

Commentary: J-Roll is the Phils catalyst, clubhouse leader and one helleva ballplayer. Jimmy can hit, hit for power, cover some serious ground at short, throw darts across the diamond and run like someone’s chasing him. You know, just your everyday 5-foot-8, MVP, gold glove shortstop. Once upon a time, Eaton was a filthy pitcher who could spot a 94-mph fastball to compliment an unhittable curve. Obviously, that pitcher is long gone.

1997 MLB Draft Grade: B
Impact Players
J.D. Drew (1/2)
Randy Wolf (2/54)
Complimentary Players
Derrick Turnbow (5/146)
Johnny Estrada (17/506)

Commentary: J.D. Drew was the consensus #1 talent in the draft – and it wasn’t even close. The only 30-30 player in NCAA history, Drew was going to be Mickey-fucking-Mantle. Injuries derailed his career, but he’s still an All-Star caliber player. Remember, it’s Arbuckle’s job to pick um, not sign um. Everyone remembers Wolf’s fan club, but few people seem to remember that he was an All-Star left-handed pitcher who threw too many innings too soon. Larry Bowa compared him to Tom Glavine and the comparisons where not far off before Wolfman ran into some arm injuries. Turnbow’s high-90’s fastball translated into one good year as a closer for the Milwaukee Brewers and Estrada was a key player in the Kevin Millwood acquisition.

1998 MLB Draft Grade: A
Impact Players
Pat Burrell (1/1)
Complimentary Players
Jason Michaels (4/104)
Ryan Madson (9/254)
Geoff Geary (15/434)
Nick Punto (21/614)

Commentary: My unhealthy man-crush for Pat Burrell started when the Phils selected the strapping, 6-foot-4, 225-pound homerun-hitting third baseman from Miami with the first-overall pick of the 1998 Draft. 250-plus homeruns later, Burrell is still a vital cog in the Phillies quest for a World Series championship. Watching him swat two homeruns in the series-clinching win over Milwaukee in Game Four of the NLDS brought pure joy to my heart. Michaels, Burrell’s college drinking buddy, was a decent fourth outfielder and Punto is a solid utility infielder for the Minnesota Twins. Madson’s superb September performance played a key role in the Phillies capturing their second straight division title and Geary was included in the package for Brad Lidge last off-season.

1999 MLB Draft Grade: B-
Impact Players
Brett Myers (1/12)
Complimentary Players
Marlon Byrd (10/306)

Commentary: Myers might just be the key to Philly winning a World Series title in 2008. If he continues to pitch in the post-season like he did against the Brewers in Game 2 of the NLDS, the Phils have a legitimate chance of going all the way. A bulldog on the mound, Myers mixes a 89-94mph fastball with a devastating curveball that ranks among the best in baseball. When he can throw his curve for strikes and effectively mix his four seam fastball and sinker, he is a devastating pitcher. When his location is off…...he can post some of the worst box scores you have ever seen. Byrd’s star in Philadelphia quickly faded but he has experienced a rebirth with the Texas Rangers over the last two seasons.

2000 MLB Draft Grade: A+
Impact Players
Chase Utley (1/15)
Complimentary Players
Taylor Buchholz (6/175)

Commentary: Arbuckle receives an A+ grade for this sole reason - the 2000 MLB Draft was one of the worst in history and the Phillies walked away with by far the best player despite picking 15th overall. Other than #1 overall draft pick Adrian Gonzalez, no other 2000 first round draft selection aside from Utley has ever been named to an All-Star team. Chutley is the best offensive second baseman in either league and his defense has risen from mediocre during his fist season in the bigs to gold-glove worthy. His tough-as-nails attitude and natural leadership skills further enhance his value to the organization and the Phillies wisely locked Utley up to a long-term contract last off-season. Buchholz was the Colorado Rockies best middle reliever this past year and served as the Phillies main prospect in the trade for closer Billy Wagner following the 2003 season.

2001 MLB Draft Grade: A+
Impact Players
Gavin Floyd (1/4)
Ryan Howard (5/140)
Complimentary Players
NONE

Commentary: Howard is the greatest power hitter in the game, winning two home run titles, two RBI titles and an MVP award in his first three full seasons. His second-half surge is one of the main reasons the Phils overcame the Mets in the NL East this year. Howard was supposed to be a high pick following his junior season at Southwest Missouri State, but a dreadful senior campaign had him plummeting in the draft until Arbuckle stopped the free fall in the fifth round. After struggling with his command in the strike zone for four years, Floyd went 17-8 and threw 206 innings this season with the Chicago White Sox, playing a key role in Ozzie Guillen’s squad making the playoffs. Sadly, the Phils traded him for Freddy Garcia, an overweight pitcher whose velocity had dropped from 95mph to 86mph overnight. Blame it on GM Pat Gillick, not Arbuckle.

2002 MLB Draft Grade: B+
Impact Players
Cole Hamels (1/17)
Complimentary Players
NONE

Commentary: Although Hamels is the only player of note selected by the Phillies in 2002, who wouldn’t want to come away with a legitimate #1 left-handed starter in the draft and call it a day? Me neither. Arbuckle gambled that Hamels had fully recovered from a broken left arm that ruined his junior year of high school and it paid off big time, stealing a top-5 talent with the 17th overall pick in the draft. In the future, Cole Hamels will win 1 Cy Young... and 11 Cole Hamels.

Looking back at Arbuckle’s first 10 drafts, he was responsible for selecting the following players who have played pivotal roles in the Phillies quest to win the World Series this season: Jimmy Rollins, Pat Burrell, Ryan Madson, Brett Myers, Chase Utley, Ryan Howard and Cole Hamels. In addition, Scott Rolen, J.D. Drew, Randy Wolf, Marlon Byrd, Taylor Buchholz and Gavin Floyd are starring for other teams.

Pat Gillick has expressed that he will retire as Phillies General Manager after this season and his successor has yet to be named. Here’s hoping the Phillies realize that the best man for the job is right under their nose. As GM, I have faith Mike Arbuckle can build a championship-caliber ball club. In fact, he already has.

I’m Back Bitches

Finally, after two months, IOwnLotsOfTylerGreenRookieCards is graced with a blog entry from its curiously absent writer. The past eight weeks have been a trying time for yours truly - battling an addiction to freebase cocaine, entering rehab, escaping from rehab and running away to Vegas, winning 500K at The Bellagio, losing 750K at The Grand, shooting that man in Reno, living in Utah under an alias - but all that is over now. I’m back bitches, and better than ever.

As if I needed to tell you, tonight is D-Day. And by that I mean Donovan-over-Dallas-Day. The Birds and Boys draw blood tonight and winner gets bragging rights until World War II in Philly on December 28. A few quick thoughts on tonight’s game:

1.) DeSean “Fraction” Jackson can cement his status as a Tier 1 Philly sports icon with a huge game against Dallas’ much-talked about D. Unbelievably, Jackson matched all the pre-season hype with a 106-yard receiving day against the Rams, including a phenomenal 47-yard catch over a defender’s shoulder for his first NFL reception. The fastest wideout at the combine added a 60-yard punt return for good measure. If Jackson burns Pacman Jones for a deep post or two, you could be witnessing the fastest rise of a Philly sports star since Iverson left Michael Jordan reaching for air on a cross-over jump shot during AI’s rookie year.

2.) If you actually want Kevin Kolb to start for the Eagles, go kill yourself. Seriously, just fucking die already. McNabb is a legitimately great player and now that Tom Brady can play NFL quarterback as well as I can, Peyton Manning is the only QB I’d take over number five. Did you see that frozen rope he threw to Hank Baskett in Week 1?? There are only two other men on earth who can make that toss. One is sitting at home with spaghetti for a knee and the other is in jail for dog fighting.

3.) Dallas can have their All-America (read: white) QB with his pop star princess. Dallas can have their pampered receiver who finally has found a quarterback that “gets him.” Dallas can have their five Super Bowls, their beauty queens, their lax gun laws, their idiot, inbred, hate-mongering ideologies; I don’t give a flying fuck. The Eagles are going to have this game. Dallas can have the rest.

Put up or shut up time - Prediction: Eagles 27 Cowboys 20

Going to Shorty’s (42^nd and 9^th) for the game. I’ll have an in-depth recap tomorrow.

Freak Show

I was bored out of my mind for most of the Homerun Derby, checking email, reading a few stories online - until it was Josh Hamilton's turn to hit. When Hamilton, all 6-4, 235 pounds of lean muscle, golden locks and drug-induced tattoos, stepped up to the plate, I stopped what I was doing and hoped for a show. What followed was the greatest display of power I have ever seen. At one point he hit 13 consecutive bombs, finishing the first round with a mind-boggling 28 homers. And it wasn't the record-setting number of homeruns Hamilton hit that really impressed me, it was the unimaginable distance each ball traveled that captivated my mind until I was screaming "Get the fuck outta here.....no fucking way," as baseball after baseball rocketed into the clear night air at Yankee Stadium.

I immediately called my brother Paulie after witnessing Hamilton's breathtaking homerun binge.

"Did you fucking see that!? Un-fucking-believable."

"I know," Paulie replied. "This is what they are going to play in his ESPN special when he overdoses on heroin. Put that in your fucking blog."

Indeed.

Keep this in mind - prior to Hamilton's freak show, only five balls have ever traveled over 500 feet in the 19-year history of the Homerun Derby. Hamilton hit three 500-foot bombs in a single round, including a blast of 518 feet that almost cleared Yankee Stadium. The way balls exploded and soared high and deep off Hamilton's bat, it looked as if he was hitting golf balls, not baseballs. Unreal.

Sure Justin Morneau was technically the Homerun Derby winner because Josh Hamilton and his 71-year old pitching machine tired by the third round, but that doesn't matter. I always thought Mark McGwire put on the greatest show of sheer power in the 1999 Homerun Derby at Fenway Park, but I no longer feel that way. Hamilton gave Yankee Stadium a fitting farewell that millions of fans will never forget. I know I won't.

Going Deep

I’ll ignore how ridiculous it is that Corey Fucking Hart is going to the All-Star game over Pat Burrell because all of the fat people (i.e. - everyone) in Wisconsin voted 1,000 times for him while watching farm-animal porn and eating Doritos off their stained T-shirts, and instead decompress by previewing today’s MLB Homerun Derby (8:00 pm EST on ESPN) featuring everyone’s favorite All-Star second baseman, Chase Utley. Here is “Chutleys” competition, with each candidate’s Las Vegas odds (as of Monday morning, June 14) noted next their names –

THE VEGAS FAVORITE
Lance Berkman, 22 homeruns in 2008 (3-1 Odds)

PROS: Berkman can really hit the crap out of the ball and is probably the best overall hitter in this year’s Homerun Derby, raking .347 / .443 / .653 numbers entering the break.

CONS: No way to say this nicely, but Berkman is fat. I mean he looks totally out of shape. He’s a good bet to make the finals, but I don’t think he can last as long as the others.

THE NATURAL & MY FAVORITE
Josh Hamilton, 21 homeruns in 2008 (7-2 Odds)

PROS: Hamilton is truly “The Natural.” After overcoming 3 ½ years of baseball exile because of an extensive cocaine/heroin/alcohol/stripper/speed/ecstasy addiction, Hamilton is wowing scouts and fans alike with his remarkable display of speed, power and athleticism. Hamilton is the most-likely candidate to hit a ball 550 feet and he enters the All-Star break hitting at a .310 / .367 / .552 clip.

CONS: Hamilton is having a 71-year old former baseball coach from his hometown pitch to him in the derby. I’m sure they have chemistry, but would you trust a 71-year old dude to withstand the pressure of throwing on the mound in a sold out Yankee Stadium? Me neither.

THE UNDERDOG
Justin Morneau, 14 homeruns in 2008 (9-2 Odds)

PROS: With a compact power stroke reminiscent of Mark McGwire, Morneau can hit the ball a country mile. Plus, he’s a legitimately great HITTER, posting .323 / .391 / .512 numbers at the break. If he gets in a groove, watch out, he could win the damn thing.

CONS: Morneau is Canadian and his head might flap off at a moments notice (/South Park reference).

THE PEOPLE’S CHAMP
Chase Utley, 25 homeruns in 2008 (5-1 Odds)

PROS: Utley has a compact stroke with few hitches that could lead to a ton of homeruns if he gets on a roll. Before Ryan Howard decided to hit like Ryan Howard, Utley was MLB’s homerun leader.

CONS: Chase is really more of a line drive hitter that hits for power because his hands are ridiculously fast and he can turn on any pitch. The Homerun Derby might be a little out of his element.

THE ATHLETE
Grady Sizemore, 23 homeruns in 2008 (5-1 Odds)

PROS: The AL homerun leader, Sizemore is a phenomenal talent, patrolling centerfield for the Tribe like a wide receiver and hitting .273 / .374 / .539 from the leadoff spot. A former Washington University football recruit, I wouldn’t put any athletic accomplishment out of Grady’s reach.

CONS: Sizemore could hit 15 homeruns in a round or he could pull a Mike Piazza and post a goose egg. Consistency isn’t his forte and that doesn’t bode well in the Homerun Derby.

THE MUSCLE
Dan Uggla, 23 homeruns in 2008 (13-2 Odds)

PROS: Uggla swings with every fiber in his muscular-body. I mean he goes all-out on every cut, in every game. His swing is tailor-made for batting practice.

CONS: If Uggla swings that hard in a real game, what will his swing look like in the Derby? Will he be out of control? Will he burst out in an uncontrollable Roid Rage (it’s so obvious)? Only time will tell.

THE SWING
Ryan Braun, 23 homeruns in 2008 (13-2 Odds)

PROS: Milwakee’s finest has a huge uppercut swing that is perfect for the Derby if he can get in a groove. Braun has serious power and will hit some bombs at this event. He’s a legit threat to take home the trophy.

CONS: Braun has a long swing and if his timing is off, he will lay an egg in this competition. Plus he’s from Milwakee and everyone in Milwakee can go fuck themselves.

THE ROOKIE
Evan Longoria, 16 homeruns in 2008 (9-1 Odds)

PROS: Longoria is the sure-fire AL Rookie of the Year, and the best young third baseman in the game. He has a pure power stroke and is a selective hitter, which will help him in the Derby.

CONS: Lack of experience. I just don’t think Longoria stands a chance in this field.

VOTE FOR PAT BURRELL

In a clear act of vengeance for losing to the Phillies in the 1980 World Series when he was a 22-year old underperforming, alcoholic, coked up outfielder for the Kansas City Royals, National League All-Star manager Clint Hurdle has left Pat Burrell off the NL All-Star Roster. Major League Baseball has recognized this great injustice, and have named Pat Burrell as one of five “2008 All-Star Game Final Vote” NL candidates.

Here’s how it works: starting today, Pat Burrell is one of five candidates fans can choose from for the final roster spot on the NL All-Star squad. The 2008 All-Star Game Final Vote ends at 5:00pm EST on Thursday, July 10. You can vote as many times as you want here.

It is inconceivable that “Pat the Bat” has been left out of this year’s All-Star Game. In an act of predictable stupidity, the fans voted Alfonso Soriano, Ryan Braun and Kosuke Fukudome as NL starting outfielders. Fukudome is a joke. Other than having a fun last name that your hot-but-stupid girlfriend would like, he is hitting .287 / .391 / .420 with 7 homeruns (seven!!!!) and 35 RBI. His OPS+ is only 112, or 12% above league average. Soriano has been hurt all year, and while he has respectable numbers, he has only played in 51 of 89 games. If there is a God, Soriano will opt out of the All-Star Game and Hurdle will name Pat Burrell as his replacement, but I’m not counting on it. Braun is acceptable. His .323 on-base percentage is low, but he has 21 homeruns and 46 extra-base hits. At least the corpse formally known as Ken Griffey Jr. isn’t playing.

I can accept that the common Joe and Jane fan are idiots, but I have a real problem with the outfielders chosen by the “Players Ballot” and NL skipper Clint Hurdle. National League outfielders named to the All-Star Game as a result of Player Balloting include Matt Holliday of the Colorado Rockies, Nate McLouth of the Pittsburgh Pirates and Ryan Ludwick of the St. Louis Cardinals. Holliday is hitting .343 / .424 / .566, but he has clearly benefited from Coors Field, flashing a 1079 OPS at home compared to 873 on the road. McLouth (.280 / .359 / .518) is having a career-year, and someone from the Pirates needs to be selected, but he’s not even the best player in his own outfield. Jason Bay (.285 / .389 / .526) should be in his place. Ludwick (.290 / .367 / .577) is the biggest joke of all. A career “4-A Player,” he has parlayed two hot months into an All-Star selection.

Hurdle had seven slots to use on the rest of the N.L. roster. Instead of picking Pat Burrell (remember, he needs the extra hitters because he must play with a DH at Yankee Stadium), he chose four pitchers (Aaron Cook, Dan Haren, Billy Wagner and Carlos Zambrano) and zero outfielders. With the remaining three roster spots, Hurdle selected a third catcher (Brian McCann of the Atlanta Braves), a token Washington National (shortstop Cristian Guzman), and All-Star worthy first baseman Albert Pujols (St. Louis Cardinals).

Pat Burrell BELONGS in this All-Star game. His 994 OPS and 152 OPS+ lead all NL outfielders. His 66 walks are second in the NL and he ranks in the top-seven in homeruns (21), on-base percentage (.412) and slugging percentage (.582). Rectify this great injustice and VOTE FOR PAT BURRELL as many times as you can. Vote 100 times, take an hour break and then vote some more.

Look, voting for Pat Burrell is more than just recognizing an overlooked talent that has been cheered, forsaken and reaccepted by his hometown fans. It’s about having a certain belief in yourself. A belief that if you work hard and grind it out through the tough times, good things will happen…….If you believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap, VOTE FOR PAT BURRELL. If you believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, VOTE FOR PAT BURRELL. If you believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter, VOTE FOR PAT BURRELL. If you believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days, then for God’s sake, VOTE FOR PAT BURRELL.

Deadspin, The Balls & Dick Jokes........What Are You Doing At Work?

A big thanks to Deadspin, the unequivocal leader in sports blogs, dick jokes and the primary cause of America's decline in work-related production, for sending me an invite to comment on their supernova of a site. In addition to being the best written sports site out there, Deadspin has quite a few Philadelphia ties. Their new editor is longtime contributer AJ "The Balls" Daulerio, a native Philadelphian who is destined to bring the porn stash back into mainstream culture.

I'll do my best to be as funny, witty and offensive as possible when commenting on Deadspin. You can keep track of all comments posted by "IOwnLotsOfTylerGreenRookieCards" here.

Phillies First-Half Review

I grew up in Allentown, PA and after every Phillies and Eagles game, the shitty Allentown Morning Call would “grade” each aspect of the game. I have no idea why this stupid, arbitrary evaluation fascinated me, but I would rush to grab the sports section before my dad used it as bathroom reading material so I could pour over each grade and approve/disapprove. Anyway, not a lot has changed mentally since I was 10, so I’ve graded each aspect of the Phillies for the team’s first 81 games. At the mid-point of 2008, the Phillies have a 43-38 record and a one-game lead in the NL East. Not bad, but their run-differential says the Phils should have at least 46 wins, so they have underperformed, without question.

In this review there will be some funny numbers like RAA and WARP. Read the links for an in-depth explanation, but basically RAA is “Runs Above Average,” a way to measure a player’s defensive value, and WARP is “Wins Above Replacement Player,” or the number of wins a player is worth compared to a mediocre MLB player. WARP takes hitting, fielding, running and pitching into consideration when evaluating a player, so I feel it’s the best way to express a player’s worth. Below, I have included batting average, on base percentage and slugging percentage statistics for hitters, and win-loss records and earned run average for pitchers. Without further adieu, here is my Phillies 2008 First-Half Review:

CATCHER: - GRADE: C +

Carlos Ruiz, 0.5 WARP (.219 / .305 / .296) & Chris Coste, 2.3 WARP (.313 / .372 / .545)

Why is Carlos Ruiz the starting catcher again? Is it because his hitting is mediocre, or because he isn’t as good defensively as Coste? Not only is Coste almost lapping Ruiz in OPS (917 – 601), but he also leads in RAA (1 - 0), caught stealing percentage (29.4 – 25.5) and the staff universally prefers throwing to him. Wake up Charlie.

FIRST BASE - GRADE: D

Ryan Howard, 1.6 WARP (.214 / .309 / .454)

Not to beat a dead horse, but Howard is having a terrible season. Two years ago, he posted a 9.1 WARP en route to winning the MVP Award in his first full season. Last season he stumbled a bit, but he still clubbed 47 homeruns and 136 RBI. This year, Howard is on pace to shatter his own record of strikeouts in a season (199) and he has just a 95 OPS+, meaning his OPS is 5% worse than the league average. That being said, Howard could go off for 30 homeruns in the second half and no one will remember his poor start.

SECOND BASE - GRADE: A+

Chase Utley, 6.4 WARP (.293 / .382 / .595)

Even with his late-June swoon, Utley is having an MVP-caliber season. His 22 homeruns trail league-leader Dan Uggla by just one, and he is playing stellar defense, as evidenced by his +7 RAA. Chutley also leads the league in number of times hit by a pitch (11), a talent that cost him 30 games last season when an errand pitch broke his hand. We all know you are a tough, scrappy guy Chase, but GET OUT DA WAY!!!

SHORTSTOP - GRADE: C

Jimmy Rollins, 1.9 WARP (.265 / .329 / .426)

It seems like J-Roll has been snake-bitten this year with his early-season injury and all, but the fact is he isn’t producing like an MVP. His defensive statistics are slightly below average (-2 RAA) and his 755 OPS is 120 points lower than last year. On a positive note, Jimmy is flat-out unconscious on the base paths this year, stealing 17 bases in 17 attempts.

THIRD BASE - GRADE: B-

Pedro Feliz, 2.3 WARP (.264 / .316 / .430)

Not since the days of Scott Rolen have Phillies fans been treated to the defensive excellence Pedro displays at the hot corner on a daily basis. His +8 RAA leads the Phillies and if there is any justice in the world, Pedro will win a Gold Glove Award this year. He’s on pace for 20 homeruns and 80 RBI, but I could really care less what he does at the plate after watching Greg Dobbs and Abraham Nunez butcher third base last season.

LEFT FIELD - GRADE: A-

Pat Burrell, 4.4 WARP (.273 / .411 / .581)

Now, some may say I have an unhealthy man-crush on Pat The Bat, but he is unequivocally in the midst of one of the best seasons of his career. His projected 8.8 WARP would be the second-highest of his career and his defense in left field has improved dramatically. Last season, Pat’s -18 RAA in left field was the worst in baseball. This season, he has 0 errors and 6 assists. His lack of range gives him a 0 RAA, but I will take league-average defense from Burrell eight days a week.

CENTER FIELD - GRADE: C

Shane Victorino, 2.2 WARP (.276 / .350 / .377)

I may be in the minority on this one, but PLEASE trade Shane for some front-line starting pitching this season. The Flying Hawaiian’s defense is overrated in center (0 RAA as opposed to +11 RAA in right field last year) and he doesn’t hit or get on base enough to have a real impact on offense. I’d love to parlay his defensive reputation and base running exploits into a deal for Rich Harden.

RIGHT FIELD - GRADE: C+

Jason Werth, 2.6 WARP (.262 / .350 / .494) & Geoff Jenkins, 0.7 WARP (.239 / .289 / .378)

I don’t know if Charlie is dumb enough to keep playing Jenkins, or if it’s mandated by the front office because they forked over a stupid contract to a hitter with declining power and no idea of the strike zone, but Jason Werth should be playing every day. Werth is a better hitter, fielder (+4 RAA) and athlete (8 stolen bases in 9 attempts). I don’t even know what to say about Jenkins’ .289 OBP……..it’s inexcusable he is playing at all.

STARTING PITCHING - GRADE: C-

Cole Hamels, 4.1 WARP (7-5 / 3.27), Brett Myers, 0.4 WARP (3-9 / 5.84), Jamie Moyer, 2.3 WARP (7-5 / 4.09), Kyle Kendrick, 0.8 WARP (7-3 / 4.59), Adam Eaton, 1.4 WARP (2-6 / 4.86)

Other than Hamels, this group is awful. Don’t get me started on the “Jamie Moyer and Kyle Kendrick are having good years” argument. Finesse pitches are more likely to get bombed in the playoffs. If you don’t agree with me, go check out the post-season statistics of Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine sometime, then check Curt Schilling and John Smoltz’s post-season numbers and get back to me. Just one more reason the Phils HAVE to make a push for C.C Sabathia or Rich Harden before the trading deadline. Hamels is a stud, Myers needs to go back to the pen, and the Phils need to package some pitching prospects and a starting outfielder for a top-tier pitcher to complement their talented lefty.

RELIEF PITCHING - GRADE: B+

Brad Lidge, 3.2 WARP (1-0 / 0.87), J.C. Romero, 2.2 WARP (4-1 / 1.74), Ryan Madson, 1.1 WARP (1-0 / 2.90), Chad Durbin, 1.8 WARP (2-1 / 1.47), Tom Gordon, 0.6 WARP (5-4 / 5.20), Clay Condrey, 0.6 WARP (1-1 / 4.36), Rudy Seanez, 1.6 WARP (3-3 / 2.45)

Other than the predictable meltdown of Tom Gordon, the Phillies pen has been the most consistent and reliable aspect of the team. Lidge has been perfect this season. I can’t stress the importance of having the lead in the 9^th inning and KNOWING the game is over. It’s probably the best move GM Ed Wade has ever made for the Phillies. Wait, he’s not our GM anymore? Wait, Wade traded the best closer in either league to the Phils for Michael Bourn and a couple of prospects who can’t cut it in Triple A? Payback is a bitch.

OVERALL - GRADE: B-

The Phillies' talent level is closer to that of a 96-win team than an 86-win team, their current projection, so it's hard to give them resounding praise even if they are in first place. Chase Utley, Pat Burrell, Cole Hamels and Brad Lidge are all having legit All-Star season's, which offsets the disappointing years Brett Myers and Ryan Howard are having. No one thought the bullpen would be this good, which is a pleasant surprise, but the need for another front line starting pitcher, the kind of pitcher Brett Myers was supposed to be, is evident. I don't know if the Phils have the kind of prospects in the minors it would take to land a marque pitcher, but if the Phillies want to make a push for the World Series, they should mortgage the farm to do it. This team has a ton of talent, and one more key player and a second-half rebound from Jimmy Rollins or Ryan Howard could put them over the top.

Is Shawn Chacon Gonna Have to Choke a Bitch???

According to The Sporting News, Houston Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon has been indefinitely suspended for choking Astros General Manager Ed Wade and throwing him to the ground following an argument. Let me send a message to you Mr. Chacon, and I’m pretty sure I speak for Phillies fans everywhere when I say this - THANK YOU.

Ed Wade was the General Manager of the Phillies from 1998-2005 and some of the legendary moves pulled off during this wee little man’s tenure include:

1.) Drafting J.D. Drew with the #2 overall pick in the 1997 MLB Draft even though the Phillies knew he would not sign for MLB’s recommended slot money (about 2.3 million). Scott Boras, J.D. Drew’s agent, lowered his bonus demands from 10 million to 5 million in the last hour (just before the 1998 June Draft), but Ed Wade would not budge from his brand-new imaginary throne and the Phillies lost out on a tremendous (albeit injury-prone) player. Sorry Phillies fans, this was NOT J.D. Drew’s fault. Ed Wade tried to push J.D. Drew in a corner and Drew pushed back.

2.) Trading Curt Schilling to the Arizona Diamondbacks in mid-2000 for the pooh-pooh platter of Vicente Padilla, Travis Lee and Omar Daal. Although Padilla turned out to be a serviceable starter, Lee couldn’t hit at all, Daal was a bust and Schilling only finished his career with a 111-57 record and three World Series rings. Hey, you think the Phillies would have still barley missed out on the playoffs in 2001, 2003, 2004 and 2005 if they had Schilling anchoring the rotation? I didn’t think so either.

3.) Firing Terry Francona for Larry Bowa in 2000. Not only did “Tito” go on to lead the Boston Red Sox to two World Series Championships, but Bowa was an emotional disaster, so much so that this move directly led to Scott Rolen refusing to resign with the Phillies. Rolen was an ELITE player back then and he would go on to help St. Louis capture two National League Pennants and the 2006 World Series championship.

These are just a few of the many brilliant decisions orchestrated by Ed Wade as the wizard behind the Phillies curtain. I shudder to think how the Phillies would have done in the first half of this decade, when they perennially missed the playoffs by 1-5 games per season, if they had Scott Rolen, Curt Schilling and J.D. Drew on those teams. Now that I think about it, fuck you Shawn Chacon. Fuck you for getting to Ed Wade first.

Easy There Champ, Why Don't You Just Sit Down For A While....

Thank You Girls of Philly

I’d like to extend a big thank you to the fine people over at Girls of Philly (NSFW) for linking I Own Lots Of Tyler Green Rookie Cards to their phenomenal site. As a self-proclaimed adult entertainment connoisseur of sorts, I have to say they do some fine work.

Remember that stupid survey conducted last year, ranking Philadelphia as the least attractive city in the country? They have obviously never met the hometown honeys featured on Girls of Philly. Who takes those fucking surveys anyway? Definitely not the kind of people who meet Philly’s Phinest ladies pouring into G Lounge, Pearl, or Denim every weekend.

The absolute sexiest ladies in Philadelphia can be found wearing their birthday suits on Girls of Philly, so check it out sometime. Having girls send you pictures and video of themselves is not bad work if you can get it. Well done, gentlemen. Well done.

So Long Curt

Curt Schilling is done. Schill has announced on his blog that he will undergo shoulder surgery and at 41 there's no way he's going to pop any 95 mph high and tight fastballs anymore.

I always respected Schill because no matter what people said about him (he's a blow hart, fat, classless piece of shit, etc), he never backed down from his comments. That's a lot more than you can say about the typical Derek Jeter "We played hard as a team and lost a tough one" bullshit rhetoric. He said what he meant and he meant what he said. And he backed up all that talk on the mound, finishing his career with a 216-146 record, 3,116 strikeouts and three World Series rings. His performance for the Phillies in the 1993 postseason is legendary.

Curt's last start of his career was in Game 2 of the 2007 World Series. He gutted out 5 1/3 innings despite injury, yielding just 1 run and registering 4 K's in a 2-1 win for the BoSox. It was par for the course, as Schilling boasts an 11-2 record and 2.23 ERA during the postseason. Not a bad way to end a career. Too bad it wasn't with the Phillies.

Pat Burrell, Man or Machine?

I read a great article on Pat Burrell by Rich Hoffman in yesterday’s Philadelphia Daily News. Hoffman notes that “Pat the Bat” is one of just 23 players to hit 200 homeruns and 750 RBI since 2000 – a list that includes Chipper Jones, Manny Ramirez and Albert Pujols, among others.

Burrell has been unfairly maligned by Phillies fans throughout his career for a number of reasons, including his once prodigious man-whore exploits, but the naysayers main problem with Pat is that they don’t think he ever lived up to the lofty expectations placed on him when he was the #1 overall pick in the 1998 MLB Draft. I mean, he should have like 500 homeruns and a .300 career batting average, right? The city of Philadelphia has lost some world class talent in the past (Charles Barkley, Scott Rolen, Randall Cunningham anyone?) due to ridiculous expectations from moronic fans, and when Pat’s contract runs out at the end of the season, here’s hoping management ignores the haters and signs him to a four or five-year deal. Now back to those expectations. Was Pat Burrell really a bust as the #1 overall pick?

Not even close. When Pat hangs up his cleats, he will likely be the 7^th best #1 overall pick in the history of the June Amateur Baseball Draft (which began in 1965). Taking a look at every first-overall pick from 1965-1998, Pat currently ranks 14^th in career “Wins Above Replacement Player,” or WARP. By using WARP, which takes into account hitting, fielding, running and pitching when evaluating a player, I can easily compare pitchers and hitters, and adjust for their defensive prowess (or lack thereof) and the era they played in. Here are the top 15 first-overall draft picks according to their career WARP (Current players stats are through June 18, 2008) -

RANK	PLAYER	DRAFTED	WARP
1	Alex Rodriguez*	1993	109.6
2	Ken Griffey Jr.*	1987	109.4
3	Chipper Jones*	1990	91.7
4	Harold Baines	1977	82.0
5	Darryl Strawberry	1980	71.5
6	Rick Monday	1965	70.1
7	Mike Moore	1981	61.2
8	Floyd Bannister	1976	56.7
9	B.J. Surhoff	1985	56.2
10	Andy Benes	1988	54.1
11	Tim Belcher	1983	50.9
12	Jeff Burroughs	1969	42.8
13	Darin Erstad*	1995	42.8
14	Pat Burrell*	1998	42.5
15	Bob Horner	1978	41.6

*Current Player

Conservatively, let’s say Pat is two-thirds done with his career. When his playing days are over, Pat will have accumulated at least 60-65 career WARP, placing him around 7^th all-time among #1 overall draft picks. Pat Burrell is decidedly not a bust, and if Phillies fans think they can replace 35+ homeruns, 100+ RBI, and 100+ walks in left field next year without Pat the Bat, they are sorely mistaken.